I’ll be honest for a moment: I am currently on the verge of an emotional break down. Now it could be combination of finals stress and moving out stress and work stress, but deep down I know its solely because I only have a few more days left of college.
I am in awe of how quickly the last four years have gone by. It feels like yesterday that my mom, dad and little brother moved me into my freshman dorm; but it also feels like another lifetime ago.
When my mom dropped me off at school, I cried. I didn’t want to go to college, especially such at a small school. I was so scared. But now as I’m looking back on the last few years, I feel like bawling just because college has been better than I ever imagined and I can’t believe its almost over. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I can’t see my friends everyday or live in this little town that I’ve grown to love.
If I could go back in time to the day I started college, I would tell my 18 year old self so much about the next year years. And I would do the same for my 19 year old self, my 20 year old self and even my 21 year old self. Every single year I learned so much about life and myself.
So to all the versions of my past self, but especially to the scared little freshman who just got dropped off by mom and dad: this one is for you.
Hi Kim,
I know mom just dropped you off and you’re feeling really scared and alone right now. I know you have no idea what your life is going to be like now that you’re at college. I know you miss everyone back home and really think life can’t get any better than senior year high school with all of your amazing friends and adventures. But I’m here to tell you right now that life is about to get really amazing in so many new ways that you’ve never experienced before. So here is a little advice from your future self as she is days away from graduating.
Give Your School a Chance: So you think your school is small and boring and nothing ever goes on here. Well the truth is, its going to be what you make it! Go out for more school clubs, I promise you’ll meet a lot of really cool people and get to do a lot of really cool things. Find a church you really like, because there are so many great and different churches in this small town. Explore your city and the surrounding area because there are so many hidden gems that make where you are unique. It may be a small school and a small town, but you have so many opportunities around you, you just need to discover them!
Don’t worry about boys: Girl. Let me first start by saying that men are trash and for the next four years, you need to understand that whether you’re dating someone or not does not matter. Don’t lead the boys on. Don’t be offended if a boy doesn’t talk to you at a party. Don’t fall for the first boy who calls you pretty. And most importantly, know you’re worth enough to walk away from any boy who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve. You’ll understand what I’m saying later on, but trust me when I say none of these boys deserve you.
Don’t let what people think get to you: You wanna be an RA? Do it! That turned out to be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. You don’t want to go out tonight? Do you girl! Wanna save money and go to the dining hall? Do what you want! Embrace being at the bottom of the food chain and shrug off when people yell “Freshmen” at you. People will make fun of you for your major and knock what your passionate about. They will make what you’re learning seem like it doesn’t matter, but those people aren’t any more intelligent or successful than you. You’ll figure this out a little later, but most everyone is way to obsessed with themselves to care what you’re doing. Do what makes you happy!
Work hard in school: School work, tests and projects are so much different than they were in high school. You’re really going to have to apply yourself and work hard. You’ll spend nights in the library and freak out over tests and group projects, but thats what you’re supposed to do. Just work hard so you don’t waste Mom and Dad’s money.
Going out gets more fun: Trust me when I say you’ll get the hang of going out and drinking and partying and all of that. Its all new to you now. You may make mistakes and make a fool of yourself or end up hating going out, but you’ll get the hang of it eventually. And I’m just going to leave it at that.
Step out of your comfort zone: You will come across as shy and reserved, but I want you to try really hard to step out of your comfort zone because that is exactly when the best memories and best friends will be made. You’re supposed to do the things that scare you. So branch out, because thats what college is all about.
You’re not going to look like a super model and thats ok: Yes, the freshmen 15 is scary and you don’t want to go crazy right when you get to college, but you need to work on your body image and accepting your body type. You don’t need to look like a super model to feel pretty. Just focus on being healthy and you’ll become more comfortable in your skin. (You also get that jaw surgery during this time in college and let me tell you YOU WILL LOVE YOUR NEW FACE!)
Trust that everything happens for a reason: This may be a little cliche, but trust me when I say that when you look back on the last four years, you’ll understand why you had to quit that job, or go to that interview, or get your heart broken or fail that project or let go of those friends. Everything you’re about to do and go through makes you who you are supposed to be by the end of college. When the world feels like its crashing down or you’re not where you want to be in life, trust that you’re growing from this.
You will find your place: I promise you by the time you’re a second semester senior, you will have made such a mark on this campus. You will know so many people, to the point where you can’t go anywhere on campus without saying “hi” to someone. You will be a member of so many organizations and have done so many cool things with clubs and your jobs that it will be so hard to ever leave this place. You may feel lost now, but you will find your way soon enough.
You will meet some amazing people: I know you’re thinking that there is no way you will ever make better friends than all of the wonderful folks you surrounded yourself with in high school. But the truth is, you will. And while you’ll keep a lot of your best friends from high school and go visit them at their schools and all of that, you will make so many more friends who will each teach you something new and bring out such wonderful aspects of yourself. There is no doubt that some of the friends you meet in college will be your bridesmaids and best friends for life. I can’t believe you lived your life without all of these people for so long and you’re about to all go your separate ways. You don’t know it yet, but the friends you make in college are truly what will make your time here the most memorable and worth while.
You will accomplish so much: Girl if you could see how decked out you are on graduation day! You have so many chords! You got Cum Laude and you studied abroad to so many places that you have a stool with three countries! I can’t even begin to tell you how decked out your resume is or how many pictures you have on your Instagram. Those are really bad ways of describing and defining how full your life is now as you are about to graduate. As as scared as you may feel now as college is about to start, its nothing compared to the fear and sadness of leaving college as I’m writing this to you now. You’re gonna do so great sweetie. So great that you don’t wanna leave this place.
It’s gonna be okay. In fact, it’s going to be spectacular. You can do it.
Love Always,
Kim