In the spirit of all of my other anniversaries that happen this time of year, I feel it is also important to mark and celebrate one full year of moving back home. That’s right, in case you didn’t know: I moved back in with my parents right after college. There was no doubt I would move back home when I accepted my first full time job (right before my last semester of college began). My job is like 8 minutes away from my parents’ house so it would have been foolish for me to try to find my own place when my parents were totally willing to let me move back home. My brothers are now college graduates too but both decided to not move back home (they also have jobs farther away). So now it’s like I’m an only child. I know not everyone can or want to move back home, but it was the best choice for me. And if you’re like me, you may be in the same position. If you’re worried about moving back home, don’t freak out yet! Here is some advice from me after living back at home for a full year (so far).
Change up your room:
This is something I didn’t think of originally, but totally helped me in the long run! If you’re moving back into your childhood home, odds are it’s going to feel really weird. Like super weird. Now you’re an adult with all of this new life experience from your years in a new place, out on your own… and you’ve reverted back to sleeping in a twin sized bed with a Twilight poster on the wall and a shelf of stuffed animals in the corner. That can make life really weird when you’re trying really hard to be an adult. I ended up switching a lot of my old furniture out with what I had at my college house and did a whole clean out of my room. I definitely think it helped! Some of my friends have also moved into their basements for a slight change of scenery.
Save Your Money:
IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE LIVING AT HOME, YOU BEST BE SAVING SOME MONEY. Seriously that has to be the main reason people move back home. Pay off your student loans, build up your savings, invest in a 401k…all of it! I’m doing this thing right now where I try to put $200 in my savings every month, as well as I pay my student loans, car insurance, car payment, and rent to my parents every month. The rent to my parents is actually just their way of putting away some of my own money in an account I can’t touch. They take some of it for themselves as a little thank you from me to them for letting me live back at home, but the majority of it is put in a savings account. I totally recommend this method for everyone whole moves back home because it gets you in the habit of having to pay rent (on time) and forces you to save money that you can’t impulsively take out.
Communication:
One of the biggest shocks when I moved back home was needing to communicate everything that I do to my parents. I just spent four years doing whatever I wanted without having to report back to anyone, so it was a big change. I’m lucky that my parents are pretty laid back and understand that I’m an adult who can make her own decisions. But I also want to be respectable of them and their schedules. If I’m going out one night or make plans to go visit a friend for a weekend, I always let them know in advance so they’re not staying up late wondering where I am and when I’ll come home. Do yourself a favor and set some clear boundaries and expectations right when you move in, so you don’t end up fighting about late hours or last minute plans.
Be a Good Roommate:
Now that you’re an adult, there are new expectations of you at home. I know from personal experience (and my friends experience) that one of the biggest fights you’ll get in with your parents is going to be about dishes, laundry and the cleanliness of your room. Disclaimer: my 90 year old Oma lives at my house and she loves to keep busy by doing dishes and laundry. So I have a pretty sweet deal when it comes to not having to clean up after myself all the time. But I still felt this was important to bring up being a good roommate. Your parents will always be your parents, but now that you’re living at home again, it’s good to also think of them as your super neat, clean, picky, overbearing roommates. It’s also good practice for when you actually move out and have real roommates.
Do Your Own Thing:
If you’re worried about living at home and life getting super boring because the thrill of college is over and you’re not living on your own, don’t! Yes; I freaked out over the thought of moving back home and being bored. But that didn’t happen! Yes, life did slow down, but in a good way! I’m working 40 hours a week but I’m still finding time to workout, go out with friends, travel and more! Just because you’re back at home doesn’t mean you have to stick around the house like you’re a teenager with no car. Create your own life different from your parents (but still including your parents at some times) and do what you want. Go grocery shopping for the foods you like, try out some local classes, attend events in your hometown, and maybe even go on a few dates. Life doesn’t have to be mundane when you move back home.
So basically, my parting advice to you is:
- You’re an adult, act like it
- Be respectful of your parents
- SAVE UP YOUR MONEY
Yikes that’s all kind of aggressive. But I think it’s super important that while you’re at home, you remember to not fall into old habits of when you were a kid. If you want the freedoms of being an adult, you need to act like an adult. You may be over 21 now, but at the end of the day, it’s your parents house and they have allowed you to move back in. Be respectful of their rules and make sure they know what to expect from you. Also, remember they have lived the last 4 years without you in the house. So it may take some getting used to for them too.
I like to think of this time of my life as the ‘practice round’ for when I actually have to live on my own, have a landlord and I’m in a totally new place. It’s really easy and comfortable being back home, because I have a really good relationship with my parents. I’m also very familiar with my surroundings. I know this isn’t the case for everybody. And I also know this time of my life is very temporary (despite me constantly joking with my parents that I’m moving out when I’m 30). If moving back home isn’t what you want or it’s making you unhappy, it doesn’t have to last forever! For most people it doesn’t. So many of my friends have just moved out from their parents.But if you just graduated and you’re freaking out about moving back home, don’t! It’s working out really well for me right now and I have faith it can for you too.
I hope this blog post gave you some comfort.
Thanks for reading! xx