My Golden Birthday: Thoughts on Turning 24

When I tell you I’ve been waiting for this birthday for my entire life, I want you to know I mean it. Since I was born on September 24, the number ’24’ has always reminded me of me and made me smile whenever I saw it. So while 24 may seem like just another boring year that comes after 21 but before 30, I have been waiting for this year my whole life. And this is honestly sending me into an existential crisis 🙂

I was going to make all of these lists for my birthday (because you know I like lists) of 24 things I’m looking forward to, 24 fun facts about me, 24 things I love, 24 important moments in my life, etc… but between you and me, 24 is a pretty big number and I feel like any list over 15 is just superfluous. I’ve been having such an issue picking 24 things I want to talk about! So why not just spill some ink on my blog and talk about my feelings real quick?

this is what I’m wearing this weekend…get it…it’s gold!

I think I was 6 or 7 when I learned what a ‘golden birthday’ is. My best friend Kayla bragged about hers because she turned 7 on October 7th and that was right around the time we became best friends. I was probably thinking “Dang… I gotta wait until I’m 24…that’s so far away and is that even a fun birthday?”. I’ve noticed a lot of my friends have this mindset about birthday’s after 21 that’s like “well I can drink now…what do I have to look forward to?“. I always knew on the sly that I was looking forward to 24 because that was my year. And now it’s here!

Today I’m 24 and I have no idea what 24 is supposed to look like. When I was little I definitely thought 24 would mean a big apartment in the big city with a high paying job and blazer sets and a man who continuously wants to be around me….and that is just not how 24 is looking at the moment.

I have to admit…I have been pretty down this week. It’s normal to have up weeks and we have down weeks and usually the days leading up to my birthday there’s usually at least one really bad day where I’m sick or get yelled at or stressed or get in a fight with someone or whatever. I know the month of September usually unrolls like this because I remember thinking “wow, why am I having such a shitty day right before my birthday?!” every year. So feeling kinda meh during this month is pretty normal, since I also think there is so much pressure to be ‘on’ when it’s your birthday, which is not always possible.

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful or sad. I love my birthday for so many reasons, the main few being:

I like attention
my love language is receiving gifts
I like my friends and family feeling obligated to talk to me

But I want to be transparent. I’m currently blaming this sinking feeling on the fact that I’m having a very normal freak out (that I know everyone gets occasionally) in regards to my life and what I’m doing. Because as content and happy as I may seem on the blog and on Instagram, I can assure you I am not always. When I envisioned myself 24, celebrating my golden birthday, I didn’t expect life to look like this. But maybe I just didn’t have a clear idea of what the age of 24 means.

I’m looking around at what 24 means for other people and I hate to say I’m comparing myself but I am. I see people getting engaged, married, buying houses, moving to far away places, and more. At 24, Taylor Swift was transitioning from the RED era to the 1989 era and celebrating her birthday in Australia with Lorde. She was creating one of the best albums of all time and wasn’t dating anybody. At 24, my dad got his jaw surgery and was still just dating his first wife who is not my mom. So 24 looks a lot different for a lot of people and I am having a hard time figuring out what this year is going to look like for me.

But by this point in my life, I am trying not to have any specific expectations for my 20s because I know how much life can change in a second and take a completely left turn from what you expect. I want to embrace where life takes me and not focus on where I think I should be because I trust in God’s plan he’s laid out for me even if I second guess it sometimes.

Right now, 24 looks like paying off student loans and signing up for a 401k from my first big girl job but also living in my high school bedroom while trying to date boys who aren’t putting in any effort and also going on spontaneous adventures to different states every weekend. Honestly, that seems like a pretty bomb ass life to me even if it’s not what I originally expected when I was 7. I don’t want to spend my birthday wishing away this time, thinking that the grass is greener, because I know I will miss it when it’s all over when I’m in the next stage of my life.

This is what my 24th birthday schedule looks like:

6:05am Orange Theory
8:20am Free Starbucks
9:00am Work
1:00pm Birthday Potluck at work
5:30pm Therapy
6:30pm Pick up more free stuff
7:00pm Dinner with the parents (???)

And in case you caught that, yes I go to therapy and I am excited to talk more about that in another blog post. I didn’t really make plans for my birthday because its a Tuesday and I have to work and do a lot of other adult stuff so I really don’t expect tomorrow to be anywhere out of the ordinary, but well see. My coworkers are awesome and are making me food 🙂 Allison just surprised me with Lizzo tickets for Wednesday which I am so hype for and then this weekend I am having a little ‘golden birthday party’ themed with my twin brother and a bunch of my best friends. I love getting to spend my birthday with my twin because when we went away to college we could only Facetime each other but now we get to celebrate more often!

So the point of all of this is that even if I’m not super on my A-game this week and I’m overwhelmed and confused about life and this wasn’t what I expected 24 to be like, I know that even on the days where things feel off, things are still good. And I’m very happy to finally be turning 24 and I truly do love my birthday.

Can’t wait to see what this year has in store for me. I have a pretty good feeling it’s gonna be a good one…