So it’s taken me a while to write this post out just because I’ve had a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that it’s a new year. As exciting as that is, I was overwhelmed with work and catching up from the holidays for the last 2 weeks. I’ve been thinking about how I want 2020 to differ from 2019. I used to make resolutions and lots of lists of things I wanted to improve on, but that’s never fully worked out for me. But a trend I’ve seen on Instagram and Twitter lately is picking a one word theme for the whole year. I also got the inspiration to make this post after reading my insta-friend Taylor’s blog here (she has some great posts about one word resolutions) and she is just so intentional and sweet as can be! So after giving this some thought over the last few weeks, I’ve decided my word for 2020 is ‘unapologetic’.
I picked this word because I’ve noticed recently that I tend to over apologize for things, even when they’re not my fault. I apologize for others when their actions or situations have nothing to do with me. I’m a people pleaser so I always tend to do things that make life easier for others or make other people’s happiness/comfort a priority over my own. By being so apologetic all the time I’ve really sacrificed my own thoughts and right to share my beliefs because I’m worried people won’t agree with me. I have started hiding big parts of who I am and what I enjoy because I’m worried I won’t be accepted for it. But that’s all gotta stop.
I think as a whole, women tend to over apologize. (Check out this Pantene commercial if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) So I want to make a goal of not using “sorry” as my go-to for whenever I’m speaking to someone (because I definitely overuse that word). For instance, instead of saying “sorry I’m late” I would say “thanks for waiting”. If a friend is going through a bad situation, instead of saying “I’m so sorry that’s happening” I would say “that’s really awful, how can I support you?”. Little changes like this will make a huge difference for me this year and help to make me feel less sorry for every little thing.
Something I’m honestly a little ashamed of is how I have become too apologetic of myself as person! I don’t openly share my hobbies, my taste in music, my favorite TV shows, what I like to spend my money on and sharing my blog with people (even those closest to me). You would not believe the amount of people in my life that do not know I have my own blog! So I’ve been thinking…why do I need to apologize for who I am? I like the things I like and I shouldn’t have to hide that or be ashamed of anything even if it’s “not cool” or “basic” or “weird”. The same goes for my beliefs and morals. Perhaps this is because of my journalist background where I needed to be objective and neutral for the sack of my stories, but now I don’t have to do be that way. I shouldn’t have to apologize for what I believe, just because it’s different than what you believe. You openly share your thoughts with me, so why can’t I share my thoughts and opinions with you? I’ve been suppressing these things just to make others comfortable, and therefore making myself uncomfortable. I haven’t been sharing my passions, joys and desires in life in fear they’ll be rejected. I want to be unapologetically myself in 2020.
With this unapologetic year comes a movement of being secure and content with my actions. Don’t wanna go to the party? I won’t go and I won’t feel bad about it. Don’t want to share my sandwich with you? Sucks for you, because this is mine and I’m not sorry. Would rather do X instead of Y? I’m doing Y, no questions about it. Life is too short to be focusing all of my efforts on doing what I think I should be doing, instead of doing what I want.
I’m not going to apologize for things that aren’t my fault. I’m not going to sacrifice my own comfort, feelings or well-being just to please someone else. I’m not going to say sorry for demanding what I deserve or for feeling the emotions that I do. I won’t apologize for who I am, what I like and what I believe. This is my year of being unapologetic in all aspects of my life and I’m very excited to implement this.
What’s your word of the year? Comment below!
Thanks for reading! xx