This blog has been sitting in my drafts for 3 weeks as I’ve been debating on what to say. In late July, I was cat sitting/apartment sitting for one of my good friends, Sarah, and her boyfriend, Rafael. Seems a little weird that I would be posting about that since I have actually watched a lot of my friends’ cats over the years. But what makes this different is that I pretty much moved into their apartment for the week. Since I am working remotely, I rarely left her apartment except to run some errands and go home to my parent’s for dinner (because it was only 7 minutes away and who doesn’t like free food?). I had a super fun week pretending I had actually moved out of my parent’s house and had gotten myself an adorable little kitty. But it sparked the question from others and from myself: am I ready to move out?
Please enjoy these pictures of Moose, the best cat I have ever met. And for the record, I don’t even like cats. But this cat totally changed my mind. She is so playful, and beautiful and super chill and curious and I would die for her she is super cool.
It’s a very unique time to be living at home. On the one hand, most people I know moved out within the first year of graduating. They couldn’t wait to move to a new city and find some roommates and live it up like the young, hot adults we are. But on the other hand, we are in a global pandemic right now and so many people are moving back home. It’s like I’m a trendsetter!
When Sarah reached out to me to ask if I could watch her cat, Moose, for a week while her family was away, of course it was an automatic yes. Cat’s are so easy! And their apartment is only 7 minutes away from my house (my parents house). At first I thought I would just periodically go and check on ‘the cat’, but then Sarah said I could keep Moose company and work from their apartment all day. So that is exactly what I did and it was so nice having their apartment to myself during the day.
I was surprised how much I enjoyed every little part of it. Everything from parking in a garage and having to use a key FOB to get into the building (so fancy!) to walking around the lobby and common areas. I could wear whatever I wanted since no one was around to judge me or tell me to cover up (trust me, if I could get away with wearing a bralette and baggy sweats at my parents house, I would). I didn’t have to worry about someone interrupting my Zoom call (except for Moose). I sat by their pool, went running around the apartment complex and did some outdoor workouts on the turf grass next to the building’s parking lot. This seems so insignificant, but it was so nice to just live my life, without any sort of influence or opinion from anyone.
When I Do Move Out
I cannot wait to live by myself. I cannot wait to have a space that is totally my own where I can be my most unapologetic, truest self without any input from anyone. No parents, no siblings, no roommates, no significant other…just me (and maybe a cat or a dog).
If your name is Julia, Allison or Jaelin, you already know I’m not the best roommate. If you’re my parents, my brothers or Oma, you know that to be especially true. So it shouldn’t be a surprise I want to live by myself. Don’t take it personally everybody. I know y’all are beating down my door to be my roommate (this is a joke if you couldn’t tell) but I don’t care how close we are. I don’t want to move in with you. And that’s not a reflection of you, as much as it is of me.
I know I am enough of an extrovert that I wouldn’t go crazy if I lived by myself. I definitely seek out social interactions and go out and do things on my own accord without much convincing. I love being around people and I truly thrive off of the energy of large gatherings and crowds (so you can image how tough social distancing has been for me). But I also value and crave my alone time.
Back in 2018, my supervisor (who I keep a running list of advice from her on my phone) told me that when I am ready to move out (whenever that is) that I should live by myself. She said “Kim, when you move out, don’t move in with a roommate or a boyfriend. You need to figure out how ‘Kim’ wants to live her life. How Kim wants to decorate, organize, pay the bills, clean the house…” Back then, that really resonated with me, and also made me look forward to the days when I could afford a place by myself. Right now, that still reigns true. Having Sarah’s apartment to myself for a week only reconfirmed what I already knew.
What I’m Doing Now
So now that this dream of mine to one day afford a place by myself is confirmed, now I just need to work for it. Judging by the fact that we’re in a pandemic, I don’t have a super solid plan in place anymore. Maybe I should work on that…
When I first graduated, I was so thrilled to have a job lined up that was only 10 minutes away from my parents house. A super easy commute and free living? Sign me up! And while I’m still very content with my current job, life looks a lot different right now than when I first started working. I’ve been working remotely since March 15th, and will continue to work remotely for the unforeseeable future. I don’t mind it, but it is making me start to question if my original five year plan will change. I used to think that whenever I left my current job would be when I moved out. But that may not be the case anymore, and I don’t really want to think about that right now. Life is stressful enough! I like my job right now and I believe “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.
Earlier in the summer, I was Facetiming a few friends and I had mentioned refurbishing a piece of furniture I found in my garage. Only issue was, I didn’t have a place for it here in my parents’ house when I was done so I offered it to these friends (who happen to be roommates) to house and use for the next “3-5 years until I’m ready to move out”. Now I was half-serious, half-joking with that time frame, but apparently this took them all aback. “THREE TO FIVE YEARS? KIM NO! YOU’LL BE ALMOST 30! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE LIVING AT HOME WHEN YOU’RE 30? HOW PATHETIC IS THAT?” Yes, the word pathetic was used.
No lie, I was not thrilled by that reaction. I tend to come across as a pretty confident person when it comes to my life choices, but still living at home as a young adult tends to be a soft spot for me. I constantly question whether or not I am where I am supposed to be in life and if I am making the right choices for me and wondering how every little thing I do will impact my future. While I can easily block out the noise of social media and societal expectations, it’s different when my friends come at me in this way. I take what my friends say to me very seriously, and I know they did not mean any harm by it, but my feelings were hurt.
Pathetic? Is everyone picturing me as a dude in a white tank and basketball shorts drinking a lukewarm beer over a PS4 at 1pm in the afternoon, living in his parents’ basement when they think about my future? Am I gonna be that dude if I live at home a little longer than most? No, that’s insane!
I strive to be as content with my choices as possible, I often falter. No, it’s not ideal to still be living at home in your mid/late twenties when I could be out there, experiencing life as an independent adult with more freedom to do whatever I want. But if there is one thing I am sure about, it is that no one’s life journey is the same. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to do something just because everyone else is! I’m about to turn 25 and although I never pictured myself living at home for this long, I am making the best of it as I go. I feel like that is all we can right now in these turbulent times.
I have a great relationship with my parents and I love spending time with my Oma and having a dog in the house. While it’s not always peachy keen and there are days when I want to move out so bad that I start looking at Zillow listings, I try to remember why I am still here.
Friends tell me I could move out. And you’re right. I totally could. But consider this: I do not want to. That sounds contradictory to what I have been saying in this post, but hear me out. Yes, I have definitely lost some of my adult freedom while living at home and the constant political battles I have with my ‘roommates’ does weigh on my mental health. But I am confident that the good things outweigh the bad things.
I am saving so much money right now. My Oma willingly does my laundry, my dishes and makes my bed every morning (I’d like to reiterate that she used to be a cleaning lady in her younger years and likes to keep busy around our house. I don’t ask her to do these things, she just does them). I live extremely close to a lot of my really good friends and am really familiar with my area. I am getting closer to paying off my car and student loans with every passing month. We don’t always get along, but I know one day I will be extremely thankful for this extra time I have with my parents and Oma. I also love having a dog, but not having to take full responsibility for her.
Life is not perfect right now, but I doubt moving out would fix anything. In fact, I think it would create more problems for me. I hate the idea that I’m not living my life to the fullest just because I’m still living at home. Jokes on me, I’m not living my life to the fullest because we’re in a global pandemic haha. So I actively try to make the best of my currently situation and be present. It’s not always easy, but it will be worth it.
In Conclusion
So am I moving out? Not anytime soon. Did I move up my life plan to move out sooner than I expected? Probably. But it’s hard for me to really plan for anything right now when our immediate future as a country is so up in the air. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time.
As much fun as my week with Moose was, moving out of my parents’ house just not in the cards right now. But on the bright side, it looks like I have a very promising side hustle in the pet sitting business. Hit me up for all your house sitting needs!
If you’re living at home, I hope you can relate to this post. Let me know in the comments!
Thanks for reading! xx
Oh! and thank you to Sarah and Rafael for letting me hang out with Moose all week. She is the best cat and I’ll cat sit any time you need me.