I’m 27 years old. I have no money and no prospects. I’m already a burden to my parents. And I’m frightened.
10 points to whoever can name where that quote is from! I honestly cannot believe another year of my life has passed. It’s like I have no memory of the last 365 days. The only tell-tale sign of anything being different this year is the fact that my hair is SO MUCH LONGER than this time last year. And for that we are thankful.
I love my birthday tradition of recapping the year on my birthday eve. It’s nice to check in on how I’m feeling the day of. Usually it’s a good indicator to how the year was all together (please refer to 24 and 25 for reference). Looking back on last years post, I was really worried that I was getting old and there was something lackluster about entering your late 20’s. And while I wrapped up that post hoping that the best days were yet to come, I don’t think I fully embraced that until the second half of this year.
I have this note in my phone titled “other jobs I would like to have one day”. These jobs include: romance author, event planner, sex therapist, bookstore owner, florist, historian and local journalist. While a few of these would require me having to go back to school (which does not sound fun to me), I realized the other day that I still have so much time in my life that I could be any and all of those things. I’m only 27!
But I feel more like an adult these days than ever. I complain about it and drag my feet every chance I can. I know some people roll their eyes at using ‘adult’ as a verb, but I have yet to find a phase that best describes how I feel when I have to pull my big girl panties up and deal with something my inner child would not have even thought about. Like having a mouse in my apartment or paying for a very large ER bill that my insurance didn’t cover. (THE INSURANCE I HAD TO START PAYING FOR THIS YEAR!!) It’s crazy how expensive it is just to exist!
Money has definitely been the biggest stressor for me in the last few years and I have a fear it is only going to get worse as I get older. But I also hope by the time I’m 30 I will have my shit together enough to not stress. Not having a lot of money definitely feels like a “in your twenties” kinda thing. Thank God for the side hustles!
On the bright side, I went to the doctor the other day and apparently I am in excellent health all around. I really needed to hear that because I have been really tough on myself for not looking exactly how I looked when I graduated college 4 years ago (imagine that). If this is the youngest, hottest, healthiest and most free I will ever be in my entire life, I might as well run with it and stop being so hard on myself. I am really only responsible for myself right now, and I do not want to take that for granted.
They always say, your twenties are your selfish years!
A big change for me this year that really excites me is the understanding that I may actually be a really romantic person. That sounds really dumb to say once I’ve actually written it out. But I never used to think of myself as a romantic (maybe that’s because I became very accustomed to always accepting less than what I deserve in romantic situations). I’ve read over 150 romance books in the last 2 years… and my dumb ass really thought I wasn’t about it? Pssh. I’m like the biggest Taylor Swift fan and I used to roll my eyes at anything pertaining to romance. But now I’m literally obsessed with it.
Not to say I’ve mastered this whole romance thing, but it is a ‘fun and exciting time’ to figure it out. (Everything is ‘fun and exciting’ if you put your mind to it.) It is such an extraordinary joy in my life to see my friends fall in love with some truly amazing people who I know will give them the world. But sometimes it feels like there is a beach ball bouncing around in my head saying “when is it gonna be my turn?” Right in this moment, I feel content with the idea that the older I get, the closer I get to that. And that is not to say I want to wish away this time in my life right now!
I remember being 15 and the only thing I wanted was a lot of friends. My two best friends from middle school had gone to a different high school than me, so I felt super lost as a freshman in high school. On my 15th birthday, it was the homecoming game and nobody even acknowledged my birthday. But why would they?! I wasn’t super close with any of those people at the time, but I think we can all remember being a dumb teenager. I remember feeling sad. And lost. And kinda embarrassed that the only person I really knew in my HC group was my twin brother and my parents got me a corsage because they felt bad I didn’t have a date.
Today I want to go back to my 15 year old self and give her a hug. I want to tell her that one day she is going to have so many friends its a little ridiculous but its absolutely wonderful. I am so lucky to have friends that I’ve known since elementary school, middle school, high school, and made in college and as a big, bad adult. I am so blessed that so many of them live close by, but even more of them live in far away places that I can go visit.
A few months ago I had the thought:
“Don’t take for granted the relationships you already have by focusing on the one relationship you don’t”.
And how pissed off would 15 year old Kim be at me for being even remotely upset that my love life is in shambles, when I am so loved and supported by my friends around me?! So that is what I want to take away from being 26. This era of my life consists of working from home, going on bad dates, and then going back to my little apartment by myself to call up one of my friends to tell them all about it. Being a single twenty-something living by herself in the city as she tries to navigate life sounds like a CW show. But that’s the reality of it. And it’s kinda wonderful. I am very thankful for the life I lead and while nothing is perfect, things are good. I hope 27 is a lot like 26. Looking back on everything I’ve done in the past year, I can just sum it up as ‘wow- that was a lot of fun’. AS IT SHOULD BE!
Oh also! Apparently Leonardo Dicaprio was spotted with a 27 year old model, so maybe I still have a chance!
Thanks for reading! xx